my poor bloggy... seems like I only come here when I am not feeling so good.... so sad...
An analogy:
A road paved for you. Transport provided. You board the bus. Coz' you finally feel of where you wish to go. But still not really sure of this destination. This bus will lead you to your destination fast. Though, the road will be rocky, but there are other things that help you to forget about the rocky-way. There are also other passengers to keep you accompany & happy. But at the back of your mind, you had for-gone a task in order to board this bus. And you know that there are other things you have to forgone on this path. Right now, thinking was: Is this the correct bus? Correct choice to give up the task? Too late to make a U-turn? Is this worth while?
In chinese: "gou-bu-liao-zi-ji-zhe-yi-guan"
I just cant convinced myself. =(
I was super happy yesterday, thought that I have finally wake up. And someone notice that. But now realised that I am wrong.
still, Damn confused...............
Today realised someone had utterly disappointed with me. I think this is the very first time I made people completely gave up on me. Though this person never speaks up, I can feel it. I failed to perform to the expected standard. The funny thing was, I only try minimum effort to save the situation.
Don't ask me why. I can't give you any reasons. I just can't even sure myself. Whether is I am tired or I been giving myself too much excuses or I just care too much. I don't have a clear view & mind to think thoroughly of the situation.
Is like: a stack of problems awaiting / lining up for you to solve. I just stand and look at it right in the face. Sometimes I choose not to see it. Yah, I am an Escapist.
Working hard may not get what you wanted; even you have achieved your goal, look back and see what you have lose along the way. If you realised you lose more, isn't it abit disappointing? I knew the feeling of banging the wall many times, how hurt & disappointing it was.
Is there really anything left that worth-while spending 90% of time & effort?
Truthfully, I am: At the brink of giving up.
Plus, a Qns:
If a person teach you a statement:
jian-ren-shuo-ren-hua-jian-gui-shuo-gui-hua
How true this person is front of you???
FREEDOM at 12:14 AM
3 Comments:
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Well, nothing much to tell you, but to tell you this story, maybe you would have heard it somewhere.
There was this donkey. ONe day, it fell into a deep well that there wasn't any way that the owner could do to get it out.
It was raining for the past few days and weather forecast predicted that showers would be expected for at least the next 10 days.
The owner could not bear to see the donkey dying off slowly, so he decided to bury the donkey alive. The donkey was sad that it would be leaving its owner just like that.
Suddenly, the donkey got an idea.
That was, whenever the owner threw the soil down into the well, it just got to shake and let the soil go beneath its legs. Soon, after many attempts, it reach the mouth of the well and it finally got itself saved.
Your know what's the morale of the story?
Hopefully you could see the motive of telling you this story.
yah, I heard it somewhere.... I know what you are trying to tell me...
but you know, I am not the Ziying you used to know so many years back.... Faced things that are hasher than those sec 3 and 4 days....
People telling me they are waiting to see the self confident & cheerful Aries back. But little they know, is no longer around....
Fall le... took sometime to pick up myself. But straight away bang into a wall. It Hurts.
I did try to find my old self back. Kind of lost it. Now seems like it completely disappear.
u know my charater, I would fight for what I want. Even how slim the chances were, I would fight. But not now... No Drive, No Nothing. I just nothing now.
And I know I have really disappoint too many people this time. I just want to say sorry.
A donkey that don't worth using soil to bury alive. Just it drown when the rain comes.
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