okie.. A week had passed. A new week starts tomorrow for me. For the past week, I did many wrongs. No, should say what I need to do but never; what I should never done but I did it. Perhaps is not big issues. I am juz shag for the past week. too tired.

to ying: when you promised yourself, you should do it. Don't give anymore excuses le.

"No one is responsible for anyone, but you yourself." I rephrased this statement from yours.

Humans are very funny. Complicated. Can a person lived alone?? all by himself on the planet?? I guess I cant. but kind of sick of human relationships. Any kind of it. what you see maybe not the truth. FAKE. using your own methods to get what you want, though it may not be correct. what is all this!??!?!! but this is how things work. some things are not easy as ABC &123.

fed up. trying to heck care.

I really dislike the feeling of being ignored.

Am I that transparent? or am I not worth of your time? Can't you juz give me a reply, a YES or a NO? or it is juz a pure coincidence of you never receive my msg? or talking online to me was juz simply a chore to you?

I am so bored now... been doing almost nothing for the whole of today... sleep most of the time... so here I am to blog lo~~

so yday went to visit Ah Ma before meeting the club ppl for outing. Nthing much. Ah Ma still the same, alot of qns.. ask me about working lo... told her is near her church... blah blah... She always feels that I am still a kid... told her I be late home coz of outing then she got so worried. well, I am still a kid sia...keke... she always send me to the bus stop when I am going home.

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went to Labrador park with the club. quite a number ppl appeared. Seniors, got Ray, Affandi, Saiful. Juniors got, Jianmin, Yew Lai, Aaron, Wenjie, Jiajun. The freshies I duno any of the names.. haha...

Lifen meet us there, Jasper also, her bf. We are there talking about the coming event shoot... well, I will be tagging along with seniors for the shoot tat day... haha.. hope I wont spoilt anything.... LOLx.

Saw our Mr Goh Chok Tong. some juniors went to took picture with him.

okie, finally the sun is setting. but the rest wanted to take the last bus out before taking the sunset. So left 3 person. including me! -__-'' the sun set quite fast... the colors was very nice, hope that my pictures will come out good.

thinking of walking out of the park when we were so hungry was abit sian. I was there saying about hitchhike then a car stop beside us. haha... so in the end, we no need to walk the long long route!!! kekeke.... free ride leh! Thanks the Uncle for the ride.

So here are the 3 of us:

Wenjie, Me & JJ.

hmm...

do people think? yah they do. Do they think alot? Perhaps. But I think I am not. I was once. Perhaps you were right too, I am just simply LAZY. I just hate to think, to use my brain.

Is also a way for me to escape bah. THINK==STRESS! like right now, I seems to have stacks of things to consider, to think, but I am running away from it. coz I hate to make choices. What if I walk the wrong path? taking the wrong choice, always leave a mark in me no matter how long it had been.

I HATE STRESS.

I just dun understand why Vyn can think so much, can sit at a place like carpark, and think for 1/2 a day. I dun wan. when the issue came into my mind, I just simply chase tat idea out. OUT OF MY MIND. OUT.

The more I think, the more likely I won't do it. No matter how simple is the task. So why think?

Yah, maybe when the time comes, when I am so old, I will forget this and that. Well, I think I am becoming very absent-minded nowadays too. mind got rusty. oil anyone?

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing this. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Barbara and she is so nice even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion, Dad - she's pregnant and Barbara assures me that we will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her since she is so much older than I am, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood enough for the whole winter.

She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we need. In the meantime, we pray that science will find a cure for aids so that Barbara can get better; she sure deserves it!!

Don’t worry, Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, John


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P.S: Dad, none of this is true. I'm over at Andrew's house. I just wanted to remind you that here are worse things in life than my report card which is in my desk center drawer.

I love you!

P.S: Call when it's safe for me to come home.

This occupied my mind for the past few days. Today, I decided to write down my thoughts and let you all know. This occurred to me after filling up the new album with the new photos.

The word ‘obligation’ came to me again. I felt drained when this issue seems like dragging on and on. It is just like a wall in front. I did try to bring it down, but it seems it still there. I am like keep banging this wall. Feeling tired. Exhausted. Now.

Perhaps everyone is just so busy. or is that just an excuse?

Perhaps is just a small issue and I am making it big. Maybe I am just so sensitive and too emotional. Maybe is not only me feeling this or perhaps is just me. I don’t know. Maybe we are just escaping the truth and dare not mention it. And now I am here to mention it. Again.

Am I asking too much that is seems so simple? I really don’t know.

Because the day is approaching, that why I am feeling like this? By the end of this week, will the situation improve? I really don’t know.

I just want to let you all know what is in my mind and the stuggles I had.