I wished to give this entry to this someone.

May not know or feel the exact feelings you encountered nor my English and Vocab is suffifcient to express my thoughts, but I hope my support does help.

Supporting you is the thing I will do, like what you did when I needed that thoughout the years. I may be able to do alots of stuff, but believed me, I will be just right beside when you need me to. (I can be very very noisey if you need me to... keke... )

This is what you told me before "Every cloud will have its own silver lining." The dark cloud will float off.... Sun be out again...

I just know that you will make it to the destination that you have set. You can do it!!

Cheers!!

人生仿佛像一棵树。

得经历许多事。而这便像树经历春夏秋冬，每件事都会有开心与不开心。

每一段感情似乎从秋开始。这就慢慢地发展，进入春。当然，每个人都希望自己永远留在春天。但，当感情到了低层，你的心情将像一棵正在过夏或冬的树。这棵树便需要时间再度地长雅。身边的人只可以等待， 希望那棵树回到当初的那棵迷人，美丽的树。

我会是你身边的人，不过，我还会跟你浇花施肥，把你变回我心中的那可爱的你。

from my dearest... put in time n effort to write.

tks. I am really touched. *hugz*

it is just so funny. the result is what can be expected. an issue that need to be solve & end. Now the it has come to the end of the story, I should be relieved. But I was not.

Never actually go and find out the whole story. yes, I am just escaping it. Basically, I am too tired to handle this stuff. or should call me a coward. I dare not know the complete picture.

seriously, I am still down. Been forcing myself not to think of it le, is hard. Tears just flow down but no sound can be heard, it hurts. Can I just break down and cry? I just want to cry aloud.

Risa said, "I may not know what happen to you. Who don't have emotions? yes, is ok to to take time to pick yourself up. but don't take too long, coz' by the time you have pick yourself up, you will realized how much time you have wasted. By then, you regret it will be too late."

all this, I know.

but the painful feeling just still lingers around.

Caught a paragraph in F.I.R song:

我不要求什么
我只想不被打扰
把爱留在街角
就当你永远不会看到
记忆化作 极光出现那一秒
我开始微笑 以后会努力过得 很好

Down the emo rollar coaster again. tiz is don't know how many times within 2 mths le. Seems like each week there is somthing new to bother me.

A few days ago, felt & realised that I have started to pick myself up; move on; know where I am heading. Feel the confidence in myself again. Started to love the new me.

Today, fall hard again. no, it started yesterday. I did expected that to happen, just that keep ignoring what the instinct told me. yun just bingo it and put it in words. I don't know I can be / still be so affected. so much. Twice as much as the first time. Don't know why. I hate the feeling of no here or there. I really kind of lost. Completely.

yup, just now at office been trying hard to do my best out of it, but in the end I gave up. fAILED. yup, someone has win by me failing.

ya, was knocked some sense in then. yet digested. How I wish I can just pack and go. Leave everything here.

Blames;
myself for taking notice of him since day 1.
myself for taking the step of knocking at the person's door; trying my luck to open up the person.
myself for mixing up my role to the person.
myself of being involved in someone else's issue.
myself being foolishly giving excuses to myself time after time.
myself for failing to see the clearer picture time after time.
myself for letting words of advice falling on deaf ears.
myself of mixing up the piorities.

myself for being so emotionally invloved.

hating the person is not an option, or it is?

I am tired. How I wish someone can help me clear up this mess that I had created. BUT there is nothing / noone to help to untie the knot but myself. Sometimes I just wish to have an exact ans, so I can blindly follow what to do.

I learnt;
Too emotional, too foolish, plain stupid.

yup, thanks Xia for helping me did something that I can't bring myself to do it. n LB people. yun.
i am just so weak~ wish to pen down more here but mind KO le.

never look back again~ a "D" person solution

when I wish to help, but was kena shut out.

Is like a one way road. Throw the ball over, but no one bother to pick it up and throw back. It's tiring.

I wished I could do more, or say more, but can't.

There is nothing else I can do le.

yup, will keep myself busy for thiz mth le... cbb le... piority changes....

haha... Being on the road with the cool wind smacking in your face is shoik! soooooo happy~~~~~ haha...

well, this past week or 2 I should say, I "hit" the bottom. Even someone said how come I so fast hit it. haha... I went to a point that I start to dislike myself being so emotional. (so is this my strength or weakness then?) When things dump in, I just catch; without knowing the ability of catching all. So in the end I drop all the "parcels".

but yesterday bought me back to feet again, it was the real HIGHlights of the week. The energy was so great. We, not only me, got very very high. The spirit of the team is there. The power is moving & spreading fast among us.

This terrific momentum had just set me moving again.

I caught something last night: "Qi Qi Fu Fu Ren Shen Cai Shi Jing Cai."

I have started to fall in love with it...