Down the emo rollar coaster again. tiz is don't know how many times within 2 mths le. Seems like each week there is somthing new to bother me.
A few days ago, felt & realised that I have started to pick myself up; move on; know where I am heading. Feel the confidence in myself again. Started to love the new me.
Today, fall hard again. no, it started yesterday. I did expected that to happen, just that keep ignoring what the instinct told me. yun just bingo it and put it in words. I don't know I can be / still be so affected. so much. Twice as much as the first time. Don't know why. I hate the feeling of no here or there. I really kind of lost. Completely.
yup, just now at office been trying hard to do my best out of it, but in the end I gave up. fAILED. yup, someone has win by me failing.
ya, was knocked some sense in then. yet digested. How I wish I can just pack and go. Leave everything here.
Blames;
myself for taking notice of him since day 1.
myself for taking the step of knocking at the person's door; trying my luck to open up the person.
myself for mixing up my role to the person.
myself of being involved in someone else's issue.
myself being foolishly giving excuses to myself time after time.
myself for failing to see the clearer picture time after time.
myself for letting words of advice falling on deaf ears.
myself of mixing up the piorities.
myself for being so emotionally invloved.
hating the person is not an option, or it is?
I am tired. How I wish someone can help me clear up this mess that I had created. BUT there is nothing / noone to help to untie the knot but myself. Sometimes I just wish to have an exact ans, so I can blindly follow what to do.
I learnt;
Too emotional, too foolish, plain stupid.
yup, thanks Xia for helping me did something that I can't bring myself to do it. n LB people. yun.
i am just so weak~ wish to pen down more here but mind KO le.
never look back again~ a "D" person solution
FREEDOM at 11:28 PM
3 Comments:
As we sail through life,
dont avoid rough waters...
sail on,
coz calm seas never make a skillful sailor...
let this series of events be a pile of stones..
its time to move on with your life..
I hope these words that you told me 3 years ago would help you now..
I know its tough, but if you dont move on, you'll never know how colourful your life can get...
I'll always be with you ying..
yun, it really hurts. and painful.
*big hug*
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